Its no secret that I have struggled with my weight my whole entire life, those close to me know that... I have tried so many different exercise routines, weight loss programs, shakes, pills.... My weight has gone up and down and up and down and round and round.
Its no secret that posting these pictures have made me want to punch the wall a hundred times and I don't know how many times I have told myself your an idiot ness for letting yourself get to this point AGAIN!!!! when I took these pictures I weighed myself. I am the heaviest I have been since I had my first child 12 year ago! I cried, and I dwelled and I ate a few more blocks of chocolates because really what's another block of white chocolate!
But I decided that while I am recre8thing myself I am not going to worry about the scales Its just a fucking number.. And as long as I feel healthy and I am happy with my progress then that is all that matters. I did take my measurements though and I will do them on a monthly basis!
My starting measurements are: Drum Roll ................
arms: 39.5 cm
Chest : 128cm Waist: 130cm
Legs: 71cms
Hips: 129
I am my own worst enemy and I battle with myself everyday. Emotionally and Mentally!! I have struggled mentally in the past, and its a rollercoaster ride! I have always found that exercise has helped with my mental state. I am a single mother who has two beautiful crazy boys aged 12 and 5... Besides doing this for myself I need to do this for them because they are very active boys and at present I find it difficult to even kick the football with them let alone chase after them on the football field.
None of my clothes fit me anymore, and everyday I pull everything out of my cupboard and put it on my bed and go through the piles of clothes that once fitted me, and go oh I will put that on.. Ohhh derr that's right you cant even get that top over your boobs..... But i know one day sooner rather than later it will go over my boobs and I will be able to tell myself that I have accomplished this on my own. Onwards and Upwards Right??? '
I know that there are going to be days when I just want to devour that block of white chocolate and drink my chocolate milkshake!! But I have just have to be head strong and remind myself what my end goal is!!!
Ohhh what is my end goal??? I think this will keep changing as i progress through this process. But i think right now for me is to not take on too much all at once and focus on making healthier eating choices and getting myself in the garage at least 3 times a week to exercise even if its only for 30 minutes!! Its better than nothing!! I will give those 30 minutes my 150%.
Im really putting myself out there with these photos but I need to remind myself everyday where am i coming from.. and where am I wanting to go!!!
I can do this.... And I hope you can follow and support my journey and be there with me through all the ups and downs that come with it!!
Ness xx
Love ya chick.. you can do it.. as can I ... we just have to want it more than the bloody chocolate! And do it for our kids too... cos they need us around for friggin ages yet!
ReplyDeleteso very true :)
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