Forever 35

Do you fear the thought of dying? Have you even thought about it? How will the kids be?


The thought of death had never worried me until yesterday, the not being here for my children and watching them grow up and seeing what direction they take in their lives.


I understand people die all the time, but when it is someone that you grew up with and someone that is your age with a young family it really hits home. My head was a fireball of questions yesterday and I definitely went through every emotions possible.


I was sad and hurt that my best friend from childhood had passed away leaving behind 3 young children and a husband. I was angry that the universe had taken someone with the biggest heart and a smile that would light a room up when you walked into it.


My heart aches for your 2 boys and lil girl who can't tell you that they love you and cuddle you and share those precious moments with you that we all take for granted. 


Your husband who has lost his soul mate, and life companion... 


For your mum and dad having to bury their child. Ohh Di and Tony the lump in my throat, and the sick feeling I get in my stomach... I am sending you all hugs through the universe.  


We had only spoken not long ago about our families catching up, and man I wish we had organised it, just to reminisce about the good old days of us, hanging out , and singing songs, and playing together and being inseparable and trying to stay awake as long as we could, and the fun ute rides that we use to have with dad taking us around on his water run.


My children saw me vulnerable yesterday, but gave me the love that I needed. I am pretty sure by the end of the day they were sick of me telling them how much I loved them and giving them kisses and hugs, but I just needed to reassure them that I do love them.... because you never know what could happen tomorrow. I am not ready to leave them, I have so much more protecting to do, and so much more I want to experience with them, and so much more that I want to teach them...


Life is precious and life is a gift that we all take for granted and can change in heart beat.... But for you Mish you will be forever 35 and for ever missed. You will never be forgotten and your memory will live on in your 3 beautiful children, who will do you proud and I know that you will be watching and protecting from above.  


You have made me want to be the best that I can..... The love that you had for your family and friends has inspired me to want to be a better person, to my friends and my family and especially my boys!! The happiness that shone through on your posts and photos was contagious....  


Heaven has received another beautiful angel to watch over us.