Did you ever get that quote from your parents when you were a child "wait until you have your own kids"? Yep I did plenty of times and I always just shrugged it off with a "yeah what ever" Ummm maybe I should of listened all those years ago, and stopped being so stubborn and independent....
2 children later and I am kicking myself for not listening to all those hard lessons in life that my dad was trying to teach me!! Because now it is coming back to bite me in the arse 10 fold.
Raising a 12 year and a 5 year is going to send me to an early grave I swear. 2 very stubborn independent defiant brats that push my buttons that I think my buttons are nearly broken... so does that mean I can go on a holiday ?? lol
I remember I was such a bitch of a kid and I found out with my boys the sex because I was adamant that I wasn't having a mini ME walking this earth... If it was a girl I was sending it back to the cabbage patch.. something tells me that maybe I would of been better off with a girl in there someone.... she for sure would of been the biggest tom boy on the planet. I don't do dresses, hair or make up and god help me trying to tell her about periods and puberty....
My boys are hard work and I swear its the universe punishing me from being the way I was as a teenager! Every day is a exhausting, every day its a battle of stubborn mum V's stubborn children, a 12 year old who thinks he is 18 and a 5 year old who wants to be 12 plus some..
A mother who wanted to parent her children different to the way that I was V's reality of what parenting actually is and how bloody hard it is....
A mother who was raised in a single parent upbringing by her dad V's a single mum living in a (don't know what you would call it) both parents under the same roof but not together household...*that's another story for another day).
I'm tired of fighting with them all the time, I'm tired of repeating myself a million times a day, I'm tired of hearing my own voice, I'm tired of the same day repeating itself over and over again. I'm tired of doing it on my own and not having the support that I need. Why did parenting not come with a manual? More to the point why didn't parenting come with a remote control so you can just pause "mum" life for a moment...... skip the hard bits, play the happy fun loving times and rewind when you make a mistake and go back and fix it!!
Don't get me wrong I love my boys to the moon and back, but sometimes I wonder if I was cut out to be a mum. I don't have the patience, I like peace and quite, I like a tidy house, I like my independence and I love having my bed to myself. and those of you that are mums know that none of the above rarely happen when you have children..
I wish that tomorrow I can just wake up knowing that the kids are going to wake up in awesome moods, that I am not going to have to tip that cold glass of water over my eldest head (jokes) to wake him up, and that my youngest isnt going to have a melt down because he has to go to school.
But in reality like every day, my day starts with me waking up half an hour before them to get their stuff ready for school, making their breakfast, going in and shaking the beds like a earth quake is hitting the house to wake them and getting ready for world war 1 million....
Someone tell me I am not the only one???
N x
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